


so please could i be selfish with your body

by notaprogenji



Series: decimate them like you did to me [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anal Fingering, Bottom Cullen Rutherford, Emotional Sex, Established Relationship, First Time Bottoming, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Rimming, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 03:15:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11569149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notaprogenji/pseuds/notaprogenji
Summary: “Can I? Fuck you. Or finger you. Whatever you want. I’ll go slow, if you don’t like it we can stop, of course." Cullen's first time bottoming.





	so please could i be selfish with your body

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a very big 'verse with my male mage Trevelyan and Cullen.
> 
> Cullen is a bottom, honestly.
> 
> The implied/referenced rape/non-con is a couple (I think three) nearly-blink-and-you'll-miss-it completely non-graphic short references to Rowan's past and his time at the Circle and what happened to him there and how it affects his sex life now.
> 
> Cullen is also still a bit hung up on two things that'll show up here:  
> 1\. Rowan is a mage and he's still getting used to such casual use of magic, but he's learned to appreciate it.  
> 2\. Rowan is a man and Cullen spent the vast majority of his adult life until he met Rowan thinking he was straight.
> 
> Edit: If you're curious as to what Rowan looks like you can check him out [here](http://imgur.com/a/ROje7).

Rowan nudges Cullen’s arm with his knuckles. Cullen turns his head. It’s one of the rare occurrences - though they have been becoming a bit more common - where Rowan has been able to convince him to take a couple hours off and laze in bed with him. A well-deserved break for the Inquisitor and the Commander, he’d said.

Rowan nudges him again and Cullen raises an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Has anyone ever…” Rowan makes a vague gesture with his hand, two fingers extended and Cullen shoots him a questioning look. Rowan sighs and finishes his statement. “Fingered you?”

Cullen can feel the heat creeping into his cheeks as he shakes his head.

“You ever touched yourself there?” Rowan continues, there’s a glint in his gaze now and Cullen’s not sure how he feels about where this is going. He shakes his head again.

“It never… Occurred to me. To do.” He stammers out.

“Can I?” Are the next words out of Rowan’s mouth, overeager and very aware of it. “Fuck you. Or finger you. Whatever you want. I’ll go slow, if you don’t like it we can stop, of course, just as it is for everything we do together.”

Cullen squirms in embarrassment but nods anyway. “Will it hurt?”

As if Rowan would know any better than he did. They were both still reasonably virginal when it came to consensual sex between men. But Rowan shakes his head, leaning across the bed to mouth at Cullen’s skin. “No, I’ll be very slow and thorough. If it hurts any more than a bit, I’m probably doing something wrong. I’ve done myself more than a few times so I think I’ve got the general idea down.”

Cullen swallows nervously but he trusts Rowan and when Rowan prods him gently to roll over onto his stomach, he does. He’s not expecting it when Rowan retrieves a pillow from the head of the bed and gently lifts his hips, settling the pillow under them. It gives him something to rut against if he needs to and some support and he’s grateful for it.

Rowan is kissing at his neck now, slowly making his way downward. He’s plastered himself to Cullen’s side, leaning over him to be able to reach everywhere he wants to kiss.

Rowan’s hand slides down from where it had been thrown over Cullen’s back and when he grips Cullen’s ass and squeezes gently, Cullen can’t quite stifle the gasp it provokes. It feels nice. It’s not the first time Rowan’s grabbed his ass but this time it’s with an intent that makes heat mix with the nerves that have settled into his stomach.

Rowan’s kissing down his spine now, stopping every so often to branch out and kiss a scar.

“Sometime.” Rowan says. “I’m going to lay you out and take my time showing you just how handsome you are.”

Cullen finds himself wondering when or if Rowan is going to get on with it while Rowan seems to be content to just kiss down his back. He’s at the base of Cullen’s spine when he finally pushes gently at his legs until Cullen spreads them wider and Rowan can move to settle between them. Cullen isn’t sure what Rowan means to do next but he braces himself when Rowan nips at a thigh and spreads his ass with his hands.

All the bracing in the world couldn’t have prepared him for Rowan’s breath ghosting over his hole or Rowan’s tongue on him. To have- It was delightfully, terrifyingly dirty. To have his _male mage lover’s tongue_ be the first thing to ever touch him so intimately there pulls an impressively needy groan from his throat. Rowan just chuckles and licks over his hole again, tongue teasing the rim of it.

“I’ve never done this before.” Rowan tells him, the vibration of his voice making Cullen squirm. “With anyone, for any reason. This is entirely new to me.”

That makes Cullen squirm more, cry out as there’s a hint of teeth. Then Rowan’s managed to get his tongue _inside_ him and _maker_ it’s so little but he’s barely coherent and he’s making a mess on the pillow, hard and leaking and chanting Rowan’s name. Rowan latches on, tongue still teasing inside him, and _sucks_ on the skin there and Cullen shouts and almost comes right there. And then Rowan’s withdrawing, pressing one last kiss to him before he sits back.

“I’m going to use a bit of magic.” Rowan murmurs. Cullen can feel it faintly thrum through his veins. He makes a questioning noise, a little bit of a whine in it.

“Grease spell.” Rowan tells him. “First spell most teenage mages learn in the circle. I learned it very well.” He doesn’t add _so it didn’t hurt as much_.

Cullen hums quietly, _almost akin to a cat purring_ , Rowan thinks as he smooths his ungreased hand down Cullen’s back. He rubs a finger over Cullen’s hole, it’s a bit loose from his previous actions but he still spreads the grease around thoroughly. It’s probably more than he needs but it’s much better to be safe than sorry.

When the tip of the first finger presses into him, lost tension returns to his muscles all at once and Rowan immediately stops. “Alright?”

Cullen nods into the pillow. He wants to look at Rowan but he can’t shift from this position. He’s not sure he can even move, after everything. Not that it’s a bad thing. Except for his hips thrusting in small, desperate movements against the pillow underneath them. He knows he should relax for this and he makes an effort to do so, gaining a kiss to the inside of his thigh in response.

“Let me know if you need to stop.” Rowan presses his finger further in, a slow, slick slide. Cullen cries out. The feeling is strange but… Very nice. He wants more, he wants it to be… More. To actually _stretch_ him. He’d never imagined this would be so nice, that it would actually feel good.

“Another.” He manages to stutter out. Rowan chuckles and obliges him, another finger pressing at his entrance. This one burns and stings just a bit, but it’s not very much and it’s only for a few moments. It’s slick enough and he takes a breath and again wills his body to relax against its automatic clench and the pain fades. It feels even better. And then Rowan pulls them out and presses them back in and he cries out again, gasping and whining.

“You’re very responsive.” Rowan murmurs, amusement edged with awe in his tone. “How did you never realize you enjoyed this?”

Cullen manages a strained, “ _Nnnnhhhhgggg_.” In response.

“I’ll take that to mean you are enjoying yourself.” Rowan’s fingers twist and slide in him and every movement makes him feel achingly full, sending sparks of pleasure racing up and down his spine. He arches his hips up and back, spreading his legs further, trying to get Rowan’s fingers to sink deeper.

After what feels like _forever_ of a slow, frustrating ebb and flow of pleasure Rowan presses another finger into him. Cullen is distantly aware he’s manifested even more grease for it and they’re probably making a huge mess of the bed in more than one way. He can’t bring himself to care. Rowan will take care of it either way, he always does.

Rowan says something and Cullen doesn’t hear it at first. Then Rowan is pressed up against his side again, mouth against his ear. “Cullen.”

Cullen comes back to himself a bit, incredibly aware of the feel of Rowan’s fingers in him, no longer moving although his fingertips are still curling and stroking inside him. He manages a response of Rowan’s name and Rowan chuckles, the sound and feel of it against his ear sending another shiver of arousal down his neck.

“Do you want to come like this, on my fingers, or do you want my cock in you?” Rowan asks gently. “I’m alright either way, this is about what you want.”

His straightforward phrasing spreads a light flush across Cullen’s cheeks but he answers anyway. He knows what he’s wanted since Rowan slid that first finger into him, possibly for even longer than that. “I want you in me.”

“Alright.” Rowan says and he sounds nearly in awe of the concept. Cullen feels him summon a third handful of grease and really, this seems like too much. But then again… Rowan would know better than he would, probably.

Rowan nudges at Cullen’s hip and Cullen rolls onto his back, finally looking at his lover. Rowan looks… Mesmerized by him and it’s makes something warm settle in his chest.

“I’m sorry.” Rowan tells him, settling a hand on his hip. “It would probably be easier with you on your stomach but I can’t…”

“I would rather be able to see your face.” Cullen reaches out and brushes his knuckles against Rowan’s cheek. “Do what you think is best. I trust you.”

“It means a lot.” Rowan says, stretching out on his side next to Cullen and leaning in for a kiss. Cullen is pretty sure he can taste _himself_ in Rowan’s mouth and it should disgust him but it just makes him more aware of how empty he is. Rowan presses another kiss to his jaw before he pulls back and rolls onto his back.

Cullen is confused for a moment before Rowan commands, “Straddle me, that way you can control the pace.”

Rowan’s hands find his hips in an instant, one settling there and the other one sliding further down to hold Rowan’s cock in place. Cullen takes a deep breath and then lets it out slowly as he sinks down. It takes a moment to figure out the alignment but eventually the head of Rowan’s cock catches on his hole and another small movement is all it needs to slide inside. It’s different than Rowan’s fingers. Thicker, warmer, a different texture and Cullen finds that he wants more of it.

Despite his words Rowan is still controlling his descent, hands gripping Cullen’s hips to keep him from sinking down too slowly. Cullen finds he doesn’t really mind that much, not when every tiny movement sends a shock of pleasure up his spine. Finally he reaches a point where he can’t sink down any further, sitting flush against Rowan’s hips. Rowan’s hands fall away from him, one sliding down his thigh and coming to rest against his knee and the other curling into the sheets on the bed.

“Should I move?” Cullen asks, muscles shaking with a combination of effort and overwhelming sensation.

“Not,” Rowan tells him, voice strained, “Unless you want this to be over very quickly.”

 _Oh_. Cullen had never considered himself to be the sort of man who had that effect on someone, but Rowan is staring up at him with dark eyes and a strained expression, holding as still as he can to avoid ending this prematurely.

Rowan reaches up to him, hand cupping his jaw, thumb pressing to his lips. Cullen opens them automatically, letting Rowan press down on his tongue. That draws a whimper out of him and Rowan smiles up at him, soft and open and affectionate, the smile he’s never seen Rowan direct toward anyone else.

He’s at Rowan’s beck and call here and if you had told him, back before all of this and everything, that this was how it was going to be for him he would have vehemently denied it. He was a leader and he still is. At the war table and in front of his troops, he’s a commander. But right here and right now, he’s Rowan’s, and he would do anything - anything at all - for that smile.

Rowan withdraws his thumb and traces Cullen’s lips with it, then he draws his knees up and presses them against Cullen’s back, supporting him in his position and says, “Alright.”

Cullen takes that as a cue to begin moving, rocking slowly at first, something that's only barely a movement but he's so _full_ it still feels like Rowan’s cock is rubbing up against every single nerve in his body. Rowan’s hands go to his hips again, helping him move, urging him along. Cullen carefully, gently, cautiously braces his hands on Rowan’s chest and Rowan chuckles, “You don’t need to worry about breaking me, I may not be bigger than you but I’m not exactly fragile.”

Cullen uses his position and his hands on Rowan’s chest to slide up against his legs, lifting almost all the way up his cock and then sliding back down, pulling moans from both of them. His thighs are starting to burn already - he may make the effort to stay fit but this is hardly a movement or a position he’s trained for.

Rowan looks good like this, under him, the hair he’s so vain about spread out on the pillow under his head and his ice blue eyes darkened with arousal, staring up at Cullen like Cullen is his whole world. And then he nudges at Cullen’s hip and tilts a leg and Cullen understands what he’s asking and lifts up off of him, unable to hold back a disappointed whine at the emptiness.

Rowan rolls them over until Cullen is underneath him, hips propped once again on the pillow Rowan had slid under them earlier. Rowan slides an arm under Cullen’s leg and lifts it up onto his shoulder, folding it up against Cullen’s chest as he presses forward, pushing back into him and _oh_ Cullen hadn’t realized he was still that flexible.

Rowan sinks deep into him, setting a faster pace than Cullen had managed on top of him, one that brushes his cock against that sweet spot on nearly every thrust and leaves Cullen squirming and whimpering under him.

“Can I try something?” Rowan asks between quiet gasps as his thrusts slow. “Magic?”

“Yes, anything.” Cullen says, too far gone to care, too far gone to do anything but _trust_ Rowan, to hand over all that he is and take it on faith that Rowan would never hurt him.

Rowan splays a hand on Cullen’s stomach. “Tell me if it hurts.” And then a strange tingling warmth spreads out from Rowan’s hand, flooding into his body and shooting straight through him. It makes his whole body jerk and his cock leak onto his stomach. He thinks he swears but he’s not sure.

“That’s alright, right?” Rowan asks, concerned. “Not too much?”

Cullen manages to wrench his eyes open and he’s too far gone to be embarrassed by the words when he begs, “Yes, please, maker Rowan _fuck me_.”

Rowan grins, pleased and slightly feral and _does_ , hips moving in hard, fast thrusts, driving deep into Cullen with every one.

“Fuck, Cullen, fuck…” Rowan is chanting quietly, the rhythm of his hips stuttering. “Maker, _Cullen_ , come on.”

His hand slides up, braces on Cullen’s chest and sends another jolt of that tingling warmth through him and Cullen comes with a hoarse shout, comes so hard some of it hits his chin. Rowan buries himself in Cullen one more time and comes as well with a deep groan, burying his face in Cullen’s shoulder. The feel of Rowan spilling inside him should disgust him, he thinks, but it only heightens his pleasure, making his orgasm last several moments longer than it would have otherwise.

Rowan collapses on him, afterward, propping his chin up on Cullen’s chest. After a moment he leans up and licks at Cullen’s chin, cleaning off the bit of Cullen’s spend that landed there. He’s too exhausted to go again so soon but Cullen definitely experiences an interested tug of arousal at that.

He shudders as Rowan’s softening cock slips out of him and he can _feel_ Rowan’s come trickling out of him. Then Rowan reaches down and _pushes it back in with his thumb _and embarrassment brings heat to Cullen’s face and chest, culminating in an overstimulated whine even as he squeezes his eyes shut, as if not being able to see Rowan will somehow hide his blush.__

__“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” Rowan chuckles as he leans up and presses a kiss to Cullen’s cheek. “Are you alright?”_ _

__The question takes a minute to register with him, a minute to make its way through Cullen’s thoroughly fucked mind. He closes his eyes and when he opens them again Rowan’s hovering over him, worried, a hand stroking up and down his side._ _

__“More than.” Cullen answers finally and Rowan seems satisfied with the answer, leaning down again to press an affectionate kiss to his lips._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Some other fun facts:  
> \- Cullen is a solid half foot taller than Rowan, who's really rather short  
> \- Rowan considered himself a virgin when he met Cullen because he'd never had consensual sex  
> \- This is the first time they've done anything penetrative together but there have been blowjobs/handjobs/frotting before this and they've discussed penetration as a concept


End file.
